الخميس، 18 يونيو 2015

To remain with yourself..

How to prevent ourselves from drifting away from our reality our true us?
That was my question when I highlited how many times I lost my life . A Loss that is not to a road , or a destiny but as holes in my time that let it pass without even noticing. That is called an existential loss.

A Buddhist quote says:"  if you loose your awareness you loose your life ,your existence"
Apparently ,  Buddhism  preach the" here and now" concept , that  everyone should be fully aware of his smallest actions and thoughts in order to live in the present  with mindfulness.
And  to be aware you should be almost happy almost satisfied and comfortable . the one fulfills  his awareness while in a painless existence . A life satisfaction , acceptance and happiness can only be true when your life is true , when your actions are real and consistence with your true self.

So , what is the real self? Is it a truth , a constant or is it variant and mutant?
 According to my experience there are constants inside that appeared to me as a repetitive pattern through many circumstances and tests. To know this pattern , I had to observe the times that it shined through my heart brightly and vitally  while doing something that I love  or when defending myself against what I hate .

Hence , I believe that there is real self which is equivalent to happiness and existence but why do we always drift away from it ? Why do we put masks , pretend, act or even imitate someone or some feelings?
To me despair was the trigger of this road drift. Despair that comes from failing to be myself , that failure in protecting my uniqueness and nature. So ,  I had to keep the aggressive masks  , greedy masks and all other masks up. all these to defend  this fragile inner core and avoid fights with my surrounding  . Though , I remained hidden  for many years , I forgot how I look like and who really I am. In addition to an act of surrender I accepted being partly me  which was later my direct cause of sorrow and depression .

The conclusion is , people could eat your days and your life by suppressing your true self and imprison you in images and patterns. Killing your joy and passion slowly , until you become  hollow inside . It's your life's fight with this people and this society either to survive it or to become a zombie with a lot of regrets.


I am a whole universe